WHO CARES FOR THE CARER

When I was a freelance nurse, I would often notice that a patient would be receiving all the professional care whilst their carer who was also suffering all the emotional pain and a feeling of helplessness was often ignored.

This was especially apparent on elderly mental health wards (EMI units.) The patients would be suffering from varying degrees of Alzheimer’s and Dementia and their every need would be catered for. But you would see their carers, wives, husbands, family and friends all trying to carry on as normal. But in their eyes you could see the sense of loss, the uncertainty and heartache that they were feeling for the one that they cared for and loved. I would often wish that I could personally do more for the carer to relieve their inner pain, and often asked the question who cares for the carer. Then one day I believe I was given the answer, but first I had to go back in time to one of my earlier nursing duties.

As I mentioned earlier I was a freelance nurse and I was called upon to do night duties at a particular nursing home. My shift commenced at 8pm each evening at which time an elderly male visitor would say goodnight and leave the home. I did quite a number of night duties at that nursing home over the years and that same gentleman was always there and then left at the start of my duties. Through my enquiries I found out he was the husband of one of the elderly female patients who was bedridden and because of her illness was unable to communicate or move her body. Everything had to been done for her and her husband use to spend six hours a day with her. He would help to feed her and talk and read to her, but I don’t think she was even aware of his presence or recognised him. It was heartrending to watch his daily loyalty and devotion to his wife, sadly she passed away and I didn’t see him again, well there anyway.

I also carried out nursing duties in the community for social services and one day my duties took me to an address where I was to attend to an elderly male Patient. I knocked at the front door of what appeared to be a very run down house. I was totally taken by surprise when the gentleman who used to visit his wife answered the door. He looked in a poor state of health, his home was threadbare and there was an air of desolation about the place. I talked about the visits he religiously made to see his wife when she was alive and how I admired his devotion. I did what I could for him and left, on leaving I offered a prayer asking the Lord to take care of him and reward him for the unselfish devotion he had given to his wife when she needed him most.

About six months later I was called upon to visit him again, what a transformation. The house had been completely redecorated, it had new carpets and furniture throughout, he looked like a bright new pin and was a picture of good health, best of all he had another lady in his life. And then it hit me, I had been given the answer to my question. ‘Who cares for the carer.’ I had been given the opportunity to witness the experience of one such carer over a period of nearly two years and their eventual release from darkness and despair. I now knew who cared for the carer, none other than the Lord Himself. I believe the carer needs as much help, support and understanding as the patient receiving treatment. Because a carer has a natural feeling of compassion for the one suffering, they are best placed to receive healing prayers and pass them on to the one in need.